THE ALTERED COURSE

BY:  ROSE CARR

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The candles on the table burned brightly, illuminating the lines of fatigue that etched Roland's face. Richelleen heard a knock on the door and shifted in her chair to see who it was. She smiled, it was Javert. "Forgive me for being so late," he said. "I was unavoidably detained." Roland stood and extended his hand to Javert.

"No need for explanations Monsieur, we just sat down ourselves."

He settled into a chair alongside Richelleen and took her hand in his. "Your message sounded so serious, Richelleen asked me to come along, I hope it is okay for you."

Roland's lips twitched, "Yes, it's fine. What I have to say is something you should know too." Hesitantly he began, keeping his eyes downcast throughout the retelling of Armond's death. Richelleen's heart twisted with grief for her friend as his story poured out. In spite of all that had happened, she still held a place for him in her heart for she had known him all his life, and it would take more than the ugliness he had done to wipe out all the good memories their childhood.

Javert watched Roland in silence, his calm eyes betraying little of the personal anguish he was experiencing during Roland's confession of guilt. He knew from personal experience that the kind of grief Roland was suffering from could be crippling, and he understood that kind of guilt all to well, for he had carried many such burdens all his life. His own inability to save his mother from her life of misery and subsequent death had eaten away at him for years. And the guilt and confusion he had experienced over the escaped prisoner he had let go the night he jumped...had tried to.... Well, he pitied Roland. Guilt was a heavy burden that could drown the soul in self-pity.

"Oh Roland," Richelleen said. "How could you ever imagine that you were responsible for Armond's death? You were attacked, you held them off while he tried to get away and I saw his wounds, he would have never recovered. Your actions were brave and noble and you saved him many hours of suffering."

"You don't understand! I'm so ashamed, so afraid...how could anyone understand...," he said as he reared back in his chair, half-smiling as if she had said something inane.

She stared at him blankly. Roland, what, what more is there?'

Looking at her bewildered his eyes full of pain. "When...when I helped...God help me! I was thinking that ...that with Armond out of the way you would be mine!"

Javert felt her hand tightened on his and heard her faint gasp. "Oh...Roland," she whispered. "That ...can't...be true!"

"I never intended to let you know..."

"Then why tell me now?" she said, her voice full of pity and grief, the dark eyes swimming in tears that tore at Roland and he fell forward out of his chair at her feet. Huddled before her on his knees like a child. She stole a look at Javert before reaching out to put her arms around Roland, rocking him back and forth like a child not knowing what else to do. Roland sniffed and raised red rimmed eyes. "I'm so sorry...if only I had..."

"You still did nothing wrong Roland, you only did what your friend ask you to do..it was the right thing to do, whatever your intentions were and I hold no ill will towards you." He sat back on his heels, wiping at his eyes with his shirtsleeve.

"Javert may see it a little differently...." Richelleen turned to look at Javert who had sat silently by her the entire time. "If all you have said is true Roland I see no crime in your actions. You were set upon by thieves, and Monsieur Armond died as the result of the attack. A very regrettable incident indeed, but hardly illegal."

"But my motives, my thoughts...!" Roland cried.

Javert raised his eyebrows, his blue-gray eyes dark with unusual wry humor. "My dear sir, if the law prosecuted people based solely on their motives and desires there would not be enough prisons in all of France to hold the guilty. Besides, I know of no penalty the law could impose on you that would be as harsh as the hell you have sentenced yourself to." Richelleen gave Javert a grateful smile and rose to her feet, bringing Roland up with her. She tilted her dark head to one side, her finger on his chin, forcing him to look at her. "Javert is right Roland, you've punished yourself enough. Armond would want you to be happy, as I do. If it's my forgiveness you seek, then I...forgive you, but you must know you've always had that." The tension left him and his shoulders shook as he put his arms around her. "Thank you," he said. After a long moment he pulled away from her embrace then turned towards Javert whose hand was already extended in friendship.

"Thank you both."

The Christening went well. Father Verchese stood on the church steps beaming at each person who filed past to shake his hand. He was sorry to see Richelleen and Nicholas leave the rectory too. And he would miss seeing Javert on a regular basis. The two of them had grown quite close since the wedding and he welcomed his friendship. But as it was with all things, it was time for them to leave. And they needed a place of their own. He saw Roland approach Richelleen and Javert and hand them a small roll of velvet. He knew what it held and waited until Richelleen pulled back the dark blue velvet to reveal the silver cross he had made, as a gift for the baby. Exquisitely crafted and inlaid with the small bits of gold Roland had managed to save. The priest knew when he saw them together that Roland's healing was almost complete. The light in the young man's glimmered almost as brightly as the gold bits in the crucifix.

"It's lovely Roland, but something like this should be here or in another church where it can be seen and enjoyed by everyone." Richelleen said.

"I made it for you, for all of you. I know it can't make up for the grief I've caused you all, but maybe when you look at it, you will think of me..."

"With the greatest kindness Roland, thank you so much." Richelleen said holding the cross against her heart. "We'll treasure it always."

Later, after a tearful goodbye from Sister Clarice and the other sisters, Javert and Richelleen holding the baby climbed into the coach with Adele and Simone. Chattering away with her friends, Richelleen almost failed to notice that they had driven past the flat.

Richelleen looked back out the window as the carriage rumbled past it. "...Georges didn't stop!" she said, her eyes wide in astonishment.

"No, he didn't did he?" Javert said looking completely unperturbed.

Turning back to look at Javert, Richelleen said. "Where are we going?

"First we're stopping at the stables," he said.

"The stables, why"?

"So I can get Liberte?"

"Liberte? Are you planning on riding today?"

"Yes, a bit."

"Where?"

"Oh, here and there," he said an enigmatic smile playing over his handsome features.

"Here and there?" She glanced at him sideways, the dark brows narrowed suspiciously, but refrained from asking him anymore questions. Instead she waited for her chance to ask Adele if she knew what was going on when the coach made its stop at the stables.

Richelleen glanced out the carriage window. "Do you know what he's planning?"

Adele and Simone, eyes wide, looked at one another then back at Richelleen.

Richelleen looked at them with narrowed eyes. "What a soppy pair you are!" The carriage trundled on, driving past buildings and shops until the city gave way to the countryside. Javert-his back straight as an arrow, his foot long in the stirrup- the perfect silhouette of a natural born horseman, rode alongside the carriage. Richelleen leaned out the window and called out to him. "We seem to be headed toward the river." As the coach followed the road that led to the edge of the riverbank they passed her father's camp and continued on passed the bridge. Just where were they going she thought? Just then through the small clump of trees she saw a wagon...it was her wagon! But that was impossible! Wasn't it? The coach drew to stop and she handed Nicholas to a beaming Adele and jumped out, running to the edge of the road before turning back to look at Javert who had reined in his Liberte. He swung his leg over the saddle and dismounted. Holding the reins loosely in his hand he watched her and waited for her reaction. It wasn't long in coming.

"My wagon!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms, covering his face with kisses. "Oh! You had it restored...how wonderful!" she cried.

He removed her hands from around his neck. "Richelleen ...we're in public!"

"When did you do this...and why?"

"Your father helped me..and Adele and Simone decorated it. Why? I bought this piece of land and we need someplace to live when we come out to inspect the building of the house....You...we...should have a home, and ...Nicholas should know about his family... I'm saying this badly."

"You're doing just fine," she said, reaching up to caress his cheek.

He reddened slightly. "I thought you might...we might travel with Andre when we have the time...that is, if you would like to do that."

Richelleen's heart seemed to block her throat. "Thank you," she whispered. Then, standing on tiptoe she gave him another kiss and with Simone and Adele in tow, ran down the embankment to inspect their lovely new wagon

Later that evening the strong smell of spices in the cooking pots was heavy in the cool air as people gathered around the fire, making well on this fine evening. The tinkling music of a guitar and strains of a violin playing melancholy tunes could be heard above the hum of conversation. The young women, Simone included, danced on the soft grass, their colorful skirts swirling round their pretty legs. Bloated skins of rich dark home made wine were opened and passed around from hand to hand as the night wore on.

Sitting on the steps of their wagon, Richelleen chuckled and nudged Javert who was sipping at a cup of the rich dark wine. "Look at Simone, she seems quite taken with your young Officer Joley."

Javert drew her next to him, with his hand at the nape of her neck until her head rested on his shoulder. . "Should I be jealous?"

She looked up at him and grinned. "No, I don't think so. You are her first love and women always have a remember their first loves."

"Good," he said, taking another sip from his cup.

Pleasantly surprised at his impish mood she playfully she tugged at his hair, "What do you mean, good?"

Their smiles died as his unwavering eyes held hers and he lowered his head to kiss her.

"There you are!" Adele cried.

Guiltily they jumped apart. "Did I interrupt something," Adele said making helpless gesture?

"No, no of course not," Javert said, standing up. "We were just...talking."

"I just want to check on the arrangements." It had been decided that until Nicholas could take nourishment from a cup he would spend the nights with Adele whose sister had become his wet nurse. Since they were camped a discreet distance from their wagon to afford the newly reunited couple some privacy, this arrangement seemed perfect for everyone. Joined by Andre and Gaspar, they talked late into the night, with the last revelers leaving well after midnight, chased away not by the late hour but by the light rain that started to fall.

With the deepness of night pressing in on them nothing intruded on their world save the soft patter of rain drops as they hit the window pane. Drawing her closer to him Javert began exploring Richelleen with a gentle hand. And sensitive to his desires, she returned his embraces, exploring his body until their passion rose beyond bearing. Then, both sweet with the dew of their exertions and deliciously spent, fell asleep, one tucked against the other, Richelleen nestled comfortably against his broad back.

She awoke to bright sunshine and an empty bed. She called out his name as she slipped into her robe but received no answer. She opened the door and hurrying down the few steps, belted her robe as she went, her heart beginning to thump a little faster until she saw him, standing by the river's edge. Hanging above him, vaulting across the sky was a rainbow, perfect in every way. It's arc rich in color above the sparkling dark blue of the river that wound it's way through the brilliant green lushness of it's banks. He stood with his back to her dressed only in black trousers, and his white shirt, left unbuttoned and loose about his lean waist. His hair, free from its usual black ribbon, hung loose about his wide shoulders. Richelleen could not help but notice how the morning sun sparkled on his mane of gray hair turning it to silver. True, she thought, he was a man of years, but he carried them well. She walked quietly through the damp grass and he did not hear her until she slipped her arms around his waist. A little startled he turned his head and seeing it was she, smiled before turning to look back at the rushing water, his hand idly rubbing her arms that crossed his waist. She sighed and laid her head against his back.

"Tell me please, what are you thinking?"

"Truly?" he said. "About all the wasted years. I can't remember ever waking up early just to enjoy the feel of sunshine on my face, or just waking up to joy of being alive. I was thinking about how lucky I am, how... blessed. My life could have ended that night, in fact it should have, but for you..and your father."

"Javert," she began.

He turned to face her. "Please, let me finish. The day you went to pick up Nicholas they found Gautier's body... down river, not too far from where I...from where you found me. I was called to identify the body. It...it wasn't a pretty sight. I couldn't help but think of....." his voice broke. "If you hadn't found me...."

Richelleen pressed her fingers to his lips. "You didn't die that night because it was not your fate.."

"Richelleen...." he said.

"Fate,...the will of God! Whatever you want to call it...you simply were not meant to die that way, you're a good man!"

"Good men die everyday," he said.

She looked up at him. "Yes they do, but you didn't!

"Sometimes I wake up in the night wondering...why me, why was I spared?"

...Maybe you were saved so we could meet...maybe you were saved so we could be together...or maybe you were saved so Nicholas could be born.."

He took her face in his hands, kissed her. How could it be that his heart could swell so big without bursting? The sun disappeared, so did the rainbow and it began to rain again, the drops sparkling in her dark lashes like diamonds. She laughed and he laughed with her. They where getting wet, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered as long as they were together. Taking her in his arms, he looked into her eyes and in their depths saw their life together stretch out before him, bright and shiny, like the sparkling river that had brought them together, so he would thank the fates she so strongly believed in for all they had done. For the course of his life had been altered from it's downward spiral and he had been given a chance at a new future brighter than any he could have ever imagined. Surely, no man could ever ask for more than that.

© 1999 Rose Carr

Contact the author:  Rosematuse@aol.com

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